Feel really connected with my life again. Positive and excited. I feel so lucky to be able to live in the flow I'm in right now. I think what's relieved a lot of tension in my mind has been two things: making the final decision (with G) that I'm NOT going back to work as of the end of June as planned, and a few days away in Devon with G's family.
Amazing what a change of scenery can achieve. Right now I can see how lucky I am to be a mother and be able to do that, really put myself into it, without the extra stress of a job. The financial side is taking a lot of faith, but we ended up being better off than I thought, when I went onto maternity pay, so I know things can stretch and change. The dependence does scare me, sure - but not as much as doing something I hate and leaving my baby with someone else. Have been reading bits of 'Affluenza' by Oliver James, which I gave G for his birthday, and there's stuff in there that's pretty scary, about the effects of daycare on children under three, and the way that society brainwashes us into thinking only paid work outside the home is worth anything. Aah, the relief!
As for writing...I'm quite well back into the swing of my novel lately, although obviously had a break during our time away. Think I'm ready, finally, to start sharing it with a select few quite soon...I've had three articles published in less than two weeks, on http://www.suite101.com/. It's great the way it is forcing me to write!
- ► 2009 (15)
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