Monday 23 November 2009

Back to Inspiration















Hello everyone! I've been silent for a while again, but it's not surprising with all the events of the past two months. I'm going through a very motivated phase at the moment and writing more than usual - working on two short stories, writing more poems, and getting feedback on my 'best 16 poems' with a view towards getting a pamphlet out eventually. My mothers' writing group continues to go strong and we will soon start gathering material for our own collection.

Fuel for writerly inspiration came from attending a poetry event at popular coffee shop The Red Roaster on Friday night, where my friend and excellent poet Bernadette Cremin was reading from her new book "Miming Silence", along with poet George Szirtes. I helped Bernie put together the shortened pamphlet form of the book for her recent Ireland tour, so had had a sneak preview of some of the poems. As every time I witness her perform, I was captivated by her voice, her unique choice of words, and the way she is, well, just so 'at one' with her poems, it's as if she lives them out on the stage for us. Bern is one of the few poets I know whose work is just as good performed as live. George Szirtes' poetry struck me as very deep and existential, exquisitely beautiful in the style of a classic painting, and requiring multiple readings to penetrate, but I enjoyed the glimpse into a different world and will certainly check out his work on the page.

It all inspired me to go to more poetry events again: my goal will be one a month; and to start performing in the open mike slots again, frightening as it can be. I have sent my best 16 poems to a poet friend for some critiques and am hoping to be able to eventually interest one of the smaller, independent publishers who welcome new writers. But first I have to get out there and be heard again - my poet friend Lou-Ice was 'scouted' on Friday night when she performed in the open mike slot, so who knows!

In October I moved into a houseshare with some friendly folk but have decided to go for my dream of the community that I shared with you all before. I've realised that living with people who are on a similar path and who can support each other to live at our highest potential, is more important than living with other parents. In fact, I've found that living with other parents and children can be, well, a little complicated! As I've often discussed on here, parenting styles differ so much, and when different families are under the same roof it can be a challenge. So, currently I am meeting with people who are interested in forming a yogic, ecological community with me, and am hoping (with a good dose of surrender) to manifest this in late December or early January. It seems a pity to uproot J again when he took about a month to get settled into our new place, but I know he will benefit so much from being around people who are all dedicated to a spiritual path and to being conscious and compassionate to each other,and hearing lots of yoga mantra's into the bargain!

J turned two on the 1st of October, which felt like a big milestone for me too. It was a bittersweet day as it was also the day he and I officially moved out (although my relationship with his dad ended in August). Still, the change has all been positive, and J has adapted so well. He is using 4 and 5 word sentences now, and I can hardly believe the insights and combinations he comes up with. He tells me about people being 'upset' and 'trying' to do things, which is amazing at the age of only 25 months (I reckon!). It's wonderful being able to get an insight into the workings of his minds through his increased capacity to express himself. After settling in well at his nursery initially, he has been getting more and more upset recently, and really not wanting me to leave him - which in turn, of course, makes me feel upset. So I'm looking at other options. The nursery he attends is lovely and I don't think there's anything wrong with it; but I think J just is at the stage of development (and in his particular personality) where he needs one consistent person to bond to, as has been shown by the way he's been following one nursery staff member around and crying when she leaves. I hate to think of him being sad, especially because he is such a happy boy in most of his life.

Speaking of which, I need to go and fetch him from nursery now. I still don't have broadband at home so my opportunities to blog are limited, so be patient with me! Once I've got feedback on a new poem I plan to post it on here very soon...