ok, STOP DOING HOUSEWORK!
J has just fallen asleep and I had to tear myself away from the exciting laundry, dirty kitchen floor and dirty just about everything else, to get on the PC. I was sort of into the flow of it (doesn't happen often), so it was hard to change levels. But must get on with the novel!
I remembered today that when I was working part-time and had loads of time (supposedly), I hardly did any writing. Things haven't really changed... whatever situation I'm in, I find myself making excuses and longing to just lie around reading a book. Sometimes I think books are my vice. So now that I'm grabbing little moments here and there (and sometimes a block of 2 hours after J's gone to bed at night, but often I'm too exhausted by then), it's no different.
So...onward!
Showing posts with label novel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label novel. Show all posts
Wednesday, 30 April 2008
Monday, 21 April 2008
one of those run-around days
Off to a poetry event
How many times can you heat up rice again? ;) J's doing his waking-up-every-few-minutes-after-being-put-down thing. I'm planning to go out to an event called Justin Sane, that Charles Devus, a guy from my poetry group, Poets Cornered, is holding at More Bar in Trafalgar Street. I'm going to perform my poems 'Passion', 'Permission' and 'Keep the Faith'. G's sister is babysitting, I'm a bit nervous as to how it will go because J will probably wake at least once, but I don't plan to be gone more than two hours tops. Of course, the buses around here are rubbish so who knows.
My challenge at the moment seems to be to find new ways of creating balance between looking after J, writing and seeing people! I'm amazed when I go on mothers' forums to see how many mums balance studying, work and motherhood and STILL manage to have a relationship with their spouse ! More and more I am amazed by women. I don't even have any formal committments at the moment, yet I easily get stressed trying to do it all. Oh yes, and housework too...thank god I have a partner who does more than his fair share, or I'd live in chaos...
How many times can you heat up rice again? ;) J's doing his waking-up-every-few-minutes-after-being-put-down thing. I'm planning to go out to an event called Justin Sane, that Charles Devus, a guy from my poetry group, Poets Cornered, is holding at More Bar in Trafalgar Street. I'm going to perform my poems 'Passion', 'Permission' and 'Keep the Faith'. G's sister is babysitting, I'm a bit nervous as to how it will go because J will probably wake at least once, but I don't plan to be gone more than two hours tops. Of course, the buses around here are rubbish so who knows.
Covering a yoga class
I've just agreed to cover a yoga class on Sunday at LA Fitness Gym for my yoga teacher, who I met up with this morning. I've covered classes there often before, but not recently. Quite excited about it. Still feel ambivalent about having time away from J. It so rarely happens, that I get out of the habit of it. He is not used to being without me. Also, I find I miss him - like the time we had people round for dinner recently and he slept an unheard-of four and a half hours straight, and I honestly was longing for his company by the time he woke! I guess, when else do you spend literally 24/7 with someone?
I've just agreed to cover a yoga class on Sunday at LA Fitness Gym for my yoga teacher, who I met up with this morning. I've covered classes there often before, but not recently. Quite excited about it. Still feel ambivalent about having time away from J. It so rarely happens, that I get out of the habit of it. He is not used to being without me. Also, I find I miss him - like the time we had people round for dinner recently and he slept an unheard-of four and a half hours straight, and I honestly was longing for his company by the time he woke! I guess, when else do you spend literally 24/7 with someone?
My challenge at the moment seems to be to find new ways of creating balance between looking after J, writing and seeing people! I'm amazed when I go on mothers' forums to see how many mums balance studying, work and motherhood and STILL manage to have a relationship with their spouse ! More and more I am amazed by women. I don't even have any formal committments at the moment, yet I easily get stressed trying to do it all. Oh yes, and housework too...thank god I have a partner who does more than his fair share, or I'd live in chaos...
And finally...the never-ending novel
I've started looking at character studies I wrote a while ago, for my novel, and trying to get back into the characters' heads again. Now that I've decided to focus on three central characters rather than the eight I was envisioning, it's much easier. Though the writing I've already done will be useful background.
I've started looking at character studies I wrote a while ago, for my novel, and trying to get back into the characters' heads again. Now that I've decided to focus on three central characters rather than the eight I was envisioning, it's much easier. Though the writing I've already done will be useful background.
Sunday, 20 April 2008
A Sunny day in Brighton
So...what is the job description?
Sometimes I find myself wondering...what exactly are you supposed to do with a young baby?
It's much like any other job I've done before: I start to feel I should be doing more somehow, or at least better ;) I wish I could be a fly on the wall of other mums' homes, and see what they really get up to.
But when things are flowing well, I don't wonder about this so much. I just get on with it, and J seems happy, and I'm happy. I don't think people wondered about this stuff before the advent of parenting theories and books. I get the impression babies and children were just part of the bigger picture of life in the family and community.
Does your baby never cry?
Today I was on the seafront with G and J; it was a lovely sunny day, definitely the prelude to spring... and when I was left alone with J he had a huge crying fit. I swear, when he cries it is the loudest thing! Other mums have said I just imagine it is, because it sounds so loud to me, but today I really think it was, because the people at the next table were staring. I felt like saying, 'Did your baby never cry?' (they had an empty buggy with them). I knew he was just tired and had a runny nose which was preventing him from feeding properly, but there seems to be this vibe of, if a baby cries, the mum has to do something about it - fix it, stop it. I feel really on the spot when that happens, and its something that I can't fix. Oh well. All of this is great practice for gradually starting to give less of a damn what anyone else thinks!
I had a really productive morning, today - did a good page of my novel (oh yes, it's very slow...but its something!), had an epiphany about what to change in my novel while washing the dishes (love it when that happens), and did some networking and profiling on the web.
Gotta go now - J needs attention!
Sometimes I find myself wondering...what exactly are you supposed to do with a young baby?
It's much like any other job I've done before: I start to feel I should be doing more somehow, or at least better ;) I wish I could be a fly on the wall of other mums' homes, and see what they really get up to.
But when things are flowing well, I don't wonder about this so much. I just get on with it, and J seems happy, and I'm happy. I don't think people wondered about this stuff before the advent of parenting theories and books. I get the impression babies and children were just part of the bigger picture of life in the family and community.
Does your baby never cry?
Today I was on the seafront with G and J; it was a lovely sunny day, definitely the prelude to spring... and when I was left alone with J he had a huge crying fit. I swear, when he cries it is the loudest thing! Other mums have said I just imagine it is, because it sounds so loud to me, but today I really think it was, because the people at the next table were staring. I felt like saying, 'Did your baby never cry?' (they had an empty buggy with them). I knew he was just tired and had a runny nose which was preventing him from feeding properly, but there seems to be this vibe of, if a baby cries, the mum has to do something about it - fix it, stop it. I feel really on the spot when that happens, and its something that I can't fix. Oh well. All of this is great practice for gradually starting to give less of a damn what anyone else thinks!
I had a really productive morning, today - did a good page of my novel (oh yes, it's very slow...but its something!), had an epiphany about what to change in my novel while washing the dishes (love it when that happens), and did some networking and profiling on the web.
Gotta go now - J needs attention!
Saturday, 19 April 2008
Writing Meeting and Yoga Classes
Writers feedback
I went to a writer's feedback meeting with two friends today which was really good. I've only been to my regular poets group, Poets Cornered, once since J's birth, as the time has proved inconvenient for me because of having no-one to look after J. When he was really little I could just pop him in the sling and take him along to anything, till whatever time, but now he has a 'bedtime' it's more difficult! Anyway this afternoon worked out well though, he slept through nearly an hour of it! And wasn't too fussy the rest of the time. Still, it's hard to concentrate fully and juggle things.
The feedback made me think about why I write the poems I do, and what they are really saying. I write in such a 'stream of consciousness', free writing way (and then work on the poems) that I often find it difficult to explain why I said this or that. That's why feedback is so useful, because I can see how my poem comes across more objectively, and whether the 'story' or concepts follow through, or jar a little.
We made goals to complete for the next meeting, and mine was to get to the next stage with my novel, by using tools such as mind maps and flipcharts to see where it's going, get an overall picture. At the moment I'm contemplating simplifying it quite a bit. I wrote a good page and a half this morning which I'm pleased with - it was a new 'scene' and some surprising things happened.
Busy-ness
I've ended up being really busy again this week, seeing people every day and having lots planned. If I'm not careful I'll get exhausted again. It seems to come in waves though; I know better now when to slow down and schedule less. Before this week I had a pretty low-key one. But I haven't managed a single nap this week, and I'm starting to feel tired again.
New yoga class
I've organised the kundalini yoga classes, to start 1st May, and had fliers printed up which ended up being more expensive than I thought. Oh well. Put them up in a few places already, and the clinic where I'll be teaching said they'd give them to people at their Open Day today. Quite excited about it all, though also nervous, because the classes I started in Hove a while ago didn't ever take off. But this venue is a much more established one - the Hove one was a brand new practice, which was a mistake - but you live and learn.
I went to a writer's feedback meeting with two friends today which was really good. I've only been to my regular poets group, Poets Cornered, once since J's birth, as the time has proved inconvenient for me because of having no-one to look after J. When he was really little I could just pop him in the sling and take him along to anything, till whatever time, but now he has a 'bedtime' it's more difficult! Anyway this afternoon worked out well though, he slept through nearly an hour of it! And wasn't too fussy the rest of the time. Still, it's hard to concentrate fully and juggle things.
The feedback made me think about why I write the poems I do, and what they are really saying. I write in such a 'stream of consciousness', free writing way (and then work on the poems) that I often find it difficult to explain why I said this or that. That's why feedback is so useful, because I can see how my poem comes across more objectively, and whether the 'story' or concepts follow through, or jar a little.
We made goals to complete for the next meeting, and mine was to get to the next stage with my novel, by using tools such as mind maps and flipcharts to see where it's going, get an overall picture. At the moment I'm contemplating simplifying it quite a bit. I wrote a good page and a half this morning which I'm pleased with - it was a new 'scene' and some surprising things happened.
Busy-ness
I've ended up being really busy again this week, seeing people every day and having lots planned. If I'm not careful I'll get exhausted again. It seems to come in waves though; I know better now when to slow down and schedule less. Before this week I had a pretty low-key one. But I haven't managed a single nap this week, and I'm starting to feel tired again.
New yoga class
I've organised the kundalini yoga classes, to start 1st May, and had fliers printed up which ended up being more expensive than I thought. Oh well. Put them up in a few places already, and the clinic where I'll be teaching said they'd give them to people at their Open Day today. Quite excited about it all, though also nervous, because the classes I started in Hove a while ago didn't ever take off. But this venue is a much more established one - the Hove one was a brand new practice, which was a mistake - but you live and learn.
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